Laundry, According to Sarah

I've come to realize, much to my amusement and probably to my mom's horror, that the little laundry tags on clothes don't necessarily mean what say, at least not to me. As we dive into this Christmas holiday, if you plan on buying clothes, and you enjoy the comfort of knowing your loved one is clean and fresh, you might consider what these tags could mean in the hands of the receiver...

"Hand Wash Only; Lay Flat to Dry": This will never be washed. Ever.

"Hand Wash Only; Line Dry": Eh, a little Febreeze, steam from the shower, it'll be fine!

"Wash With Like Colors": Wash everything you own together on cold.

"Wash on Gentle; Lay Flat to Dry": Wash on Gentle, throw into the dryer but nervously check its progress every few minutes.

"Tumble Dry Low": Huh? ....put it in the dryer. Push the button.

"Hand Wash Only; Reshape and Lay Flat to Dry": This will never be washed.

"Hand Wash Only; Reshape and Lay Flat to Dry" on a Victoria's Secret bra: You bet your bootie I'm following those instructions to the T! Those dang things cost $50!!

"Dry Clean Only": Just don't buy this. You'll be the stinky kid in the room.

The World, According to - Who Else? but - Facebook!

If you haven't visited this site yet, DO! It is hilarious. And, sadly, probably better education than a lot of history classes out there... just sayin'.

http://www.collegehumor.com/facebook-history

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Touched again tonight by the words of a man who is no longer here but left in his place a lifetime of inspiration, determination, courage, and wisdom... a lesson about working harder instead of being a victim, and dreaming instead of settling for less.  If you were confused about all the "hype" when Steve Jobs passed away-- or if you weren't, but still want to hear some powerful thoughts-- here is a video for you.  If you are like me, and not the "video type" but the "reading type," I highlighted a few thoughts below... enjoy.

If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.  Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.


You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.


The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.  Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. 

Productivity!!

I am the picture of productivity today.

I have been at the library for three hours, and I'm pleased to say....



....I finished my Christmas list. :)

A Devolution of Dress: Side Effects of a Semester of School

Law school uniform, first day of the new semester:
Fun, bright colored flowy shirt... check.
Comfy shorts that show off the care-free summer tan... check.
Happily-fixed hair and make-up, indicating one who is able to enjoy wasted time... check.
Beer in hand, rather than a redbull/ cup of coffee/ crackpipe to stay awake... check.
Legs that have obviously been enjoying more-than-average runs... check.
General air of happiness and fulfillment... check.

Law school uniform, halfway through the semester, just after a law review cite check: 
Clothing a little less feminine or fun... check.
Hair fixed, but makeup submitting to the joy of going to bed at night without having to wash my face (or feel guilty about not washing it)... check.
Smile, whether through genuine happiness, delirium, or habit... check.
Beginnings of "hermit-hood" manifesting itself in use of caps, hoods, or other comfy-disquisers of sleepiness... check.

Law school uniform, nearing finals...
No real attempt at matching (high school hoodie + Burberry scarf = totally fine)... check.
Flatirons/ blow dryers/ general styling tools need not apply, as hair has two styles: wet, and totally completely out of control... check
Best makeup permissible is that which somehow made it from Saturday night to Monday morning.
(And better grab a camera, quick, 'cause that's the best it'll get for awhile!)... check.
Having researched a serious investment in dry shampoo... check.
Forced smile, mostly because the major cheek muscles are sore from being indifferent... check.

Law school uniform, during extended library hours, less than one week before finals:
Sweatpants, size men's small... check.
Sweatshirt, size men's medium... check.
Beanie that is LITERALLY able to make a bum think I'm one of his own and try to strike up a conversation with me (Oh, and if you know how seriously I take the use of the word "literally," then you know how potentially hilarious the story behind that is.) ... check.
Complete lack of hygiene for the day excepting a toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant (Sorry, Mom. But just know we all look somewhat "grodie" at this point. And at least i don't smell.  Not today, anyway.) ... check.
On that note, application of the non-judicial "smell test" to make sure the shirt I want to wear (i.e., the softest shirt I can find) is acceptably clean... check. (Oh, and the ability to sneak in standards like "non-judicial" and to properly use phrases like "i.e."... check.)
General air of indifference... check.
Look of hunger fierce enough to make the partially-cropped doggy from pic # 1 a little nervous... check.
Expression so sleepy/ bitter/ makeup-less it could disturb the visually impaired... check.
So, basically, I look like a cross between Smeagol from The Lord of the Rings, a guy basketball player who's begging to get "pants'd," the pre-makeover "snowbeast" from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, a pro softball player in the off season, and an extra in Girl, Interrupted.

So. now that you know this general air of not-fun stuff, just go away, thanks. (Oops, sorry! Those were my exams talking. Please, stay!!!!) Just..... be warned.... it's bad.
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You should probably turn back. Or scroll back up, WHATEVER, cyber technicallist!
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..Be warned, it is BAD.....
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.and Mom, if you're scrolling down, don't be disappointed...
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and future husband, if you're out there reading, this is totally a "front" double.....
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I actually look like one of the briefcase girls on that show "Deal or No Deal".....
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So just ignore that girl down there...
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Well, not really, but you don't know any better.....
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K, here goes nothing.....
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Anybody want to loan me a piece of cardboard, magic marker, and ridiculously long beard?  I think I've seen some fellas on Stemmons & Inwood that could help me get started in this biz! :) Or just send x-smal softball gloves & X-large batting helmets to my address!

Never fear. A few weeks to go, and it is Christmas time! (You know, where I get the joy of eating food made out of love, lard, and liposuction-inducers!)
Oh, well. At least I meet the requirements to travel on 114 and fill up here. Too bad I still have to find my "dressy" pj's if I want to take a trip to Wal Mart!

Oh, the things you see in the South...

I love trips home.  I get to see so many things on my little drive from Dallas, Texas to Archer City...
Usually, these involve painfully-slow elderly; a variety of trucks, rigs, and colorful gestures from their drivers; and hundreds of barely-surviving, thirsty-looking trees.  Occasionally, I get to view some good ole Texas wildlife... a panicked deer, sprinting directly in front of my car instead of heading any one of a jillion other directions... a group of wild turkey, known to be so fierce they make dust out of windshields... a mini Texas tank, a.k.a. "armadillo," a species that is completely invisible in life, and only become plain to the human eye after being hit by a car.
But my favorite sights of all-time?  The ones us classy Southerners put out there for all to see, proving in all their redneck glory just how country we are.
For example, this little sign, still close to my hometown, but far enough away from uptown to have some personality:

Why yes, I WOULD love some finger-lickin' rotissaflame! How ever did you know? It IS totally natural, after all! 

Or perhaps the gas station where I stop for gas near 114.  Notice I say "stop for gas."  Not "stop for gas and a potty break."  Why?

Just so you know, this bad boy has been improving...  the sign used to point to just ONE some-what sideways port-a-potty...  Now, they have TWO.  Big leagues!

Don't get the wrong impression from the picture, though.  You ARE welcomed inside, if not for use of lavatories, so long as you fit certain standards-- "no shirt, no shoes" just wouldn't cut it for this upscale business...

The sorority girls standing in a group outside toting over-sized Louis Vuitton's & holding Mardi-Gras masks for that night's mixer looked particularly crestfallen!

Never fear, I was smart enough to leave my large gun-holding bag in the car, walk in completely alone, and let the surly former-linebacker clerk see my city-girl face-- how else could I get my redbull?

And the end of our trip today brings us to good ole' Bowie, Texas--- the Wal-Mart parking lot of Bowie, Texas, to be exact!

(Ok, how great was that intro?!? Anything in a Wal-Mart parking lot that prompts a driver-by to retrieve her camera and make a u-turn for the pic HAS to be good!)

I pulled in the parking lot in the right hand lane, and saw almost immediately that I was in a right-turn only lane, which truly distressed me, as Wal-Mart was to the left! Luckily, the kind souls in Bowie being what they are, the Oldsmobile behind me waived me into his lane, but not before I spotted this...

I can just hear the convo of the road-pavers now...
"Billy, I just cain't tell what to do! There's two dadgum roads on this here plan, but only one of them gets into the Wally Mart! Now what in tarnation are we supposed to do with the other?!"
"Well Jimbo, don't we have some of them extry "only turn yerself right" signs?"
"Well, yeah, sure, Billy, but what would they be a-turnin TO? They's gotsta be a-turnin' into SUMthin!"
*silence*
"I got it!! We got more of that don't-go-further-than-this-here-fence fencin', don't we? Looks to me like THAT'S sumthin!"

Their wives must truly be proud. 

Stay tuned-- holidays are bringing more trips home, and an added bonus-- WEATHER!  There is little funnier than seeing how rednecks react to the sight of snow-- except how they try to drive in it. 

Mmmmmmm.... DIP.

Ok, it's no secret that I like food. As a true member of my family, my FAVORITE foods are (1) foods that are cheese-based and (2) foods that allow grazing.
You know, grazing... as in:

Graze: [greyz] 

1. to feed on growing grass and pasturage, as do cattle,sheep, etc.

...Or, in my case:

2. to stand around a table at family events, even if there are ample seats and plates available, and slowly rotate around the table while stuffing one's face and wondering how to perform the infamous Double Dip without being chided. 

As a lover of all things food, I've been cooking like crazy lately! But what's weird is that I have never blogged about it. I'm not sure why-- laziness, maybe, or maybe fear that the blog about food, following a blog about my cats, will deem me a Bridget Jones before I'm even 30. 

All that said, I have found some good stuff. And it must be shared with the world. The first, of course... a dip! Jalapeño Popper Dip, to be exact!

I found this recipe online, at foodgawker.com. But, of course, it wasn't spicy enough. Or cheesy enough. Or crispy enough. My friend Leslie shares my same love for waist-band destroying dips, so we perfected the recipe!! Here goes nothing...

Jalapeño Popper Dip

Ingredients:

8 oz cream cheese, softened

~6 oz shredded cheddar... Ummm, or MORE.

~6 oz shredded parmesan.... Yeah, or more.

3/4 cup mayo

1 small can diced jalapeños... or 2...

2-6 jalapeño peppers, seeded and finely diced. Yes, I said 2-6. We've used up to 6 with no issues. In fact, although four is our regular number, if I start chopping the peppers and don't immediately cough, two more go in!! But I know some people don't share our love for self-torture, so for you guys, 2 should be plenty. And please, do yourself (and your eyes, if you have contacts... your nose, if you have a cold... your nethers, if, well, you ever have to pee... a favor and WEAR GLOVES.)

Panko bread crumbs-- and don't use the regular ones! These make the dip!

Tortilla chips

Salt & Pepper

Garlic Salt

Whatchya Do Now...

Oven at 350.

Medium, square or circular baking wear heavily sprayed with Pam

Now, mix both types of peppers, cream cheese, mayo, all the cheddar, and almost all the parm. Season with S&P and garlic salt to taste. Dump in your well-lubed dish (Baby Mama side note... "Is it ok if I just spray a little Pam down there right before the baby comes?).

Mix some panko crumbs with a little more garlic salt and a few teaspoons of parm-- not to much, or instead of a crispy, flaky delight, the top will become an impenetrable shield, breaking every chip that tries to enter it and leaving you with NO DIP!!

Put this mixture on top of the dip, shaking it around to make the topping even.

Bake at 350 for... well, we haven't quite figured this out. Somewhere between 20 and 30 minutes is good, but just so the top gets nice and brown!

Then... ENJOY!! If you're allergic to gluten like my friend Leslie, just grab some gluten free corn chips (Doritos are actually gluten free), and sub the panko crumbs out with crushed up rice chex! Actually, believe it or not, the chex might make a better topping-- the jury is still out on that one.