An Overdue Happy Post :)

...and further proof I have the greatest aunts around.

I didn't really get to celebrate Valentine's Day this year, and it kind of came and went... not a huge disappointment, but at the end of the day, I did kind of think... Aww! Bummer!


Then, the next morning, I went out and checked my mail (a rarity for me, truly... Onslaughts of rejection letters will do that to you), and saw not a bill, not a rejection letter, but a card envelope :)  The last time I'd gotten one of those, it was Patterson Auto Center pretending to send me a card.  Liars.  Anyhoo, I open it up, and what do I get?

Seems simple enough, but this made my week.  My Aunt Bobber and Uncle Bob rock!  I can't wait to see them next and give a little love back that they've given me!  Thanks for spreading some love, Bobber! :)  I'm reminded this morning just how easy it can be to spread a little love, and what a difference it can make!  Today, be nice to the check-out lady.  Smile at the stranger in the elevator with you.  Take a second to hold the door.  You never know what it will mean!

A Fun lil Run!

Wahoo, another shiny medal!
My friend Mollie and I ran the Cowtown 10k this weekend.  Mollie is AMAZING for even thinking about doing this because this is her first year of law school!  Unlike myself during my chaotic 1L year, Mollie has been great about working out and eating healthy, nutritious foods-- and about making time for friends!  This was her first race EVER, and the fastest either of us has run a 10k!  Wahooo!!  We were hoping for a half marathon, but due to, well, life, we chose the 10k to honor our bodies and not end up in the hospital!  (Or worse, shamefully brought to the end of the course by the little golf carts that pick up stragglers!!)

Pre-race! we started at 7 AM Saturday morning, which meant leaving at... Ugh, I don't even know! Let's just say the butt crack of dawn. And it was FREEEEEZING! But we warmed up pretty quickly and got to the race just on time.

Post-race! I love that we are smiling here BIGGER than when we started!  10k is such a great distance... just enough time to start hating it, then you're done!  

And, the medal! Wahooo!

Week Three-- Equanimity!

WAHOOOOOO! I LOVE week three! Equanimity.
If you don't know what that means, what the heck is wrong with you?!?
....just kidding! I had no clue. Thank God for Google, which I used before the week's reading so I didn't feel like such an idiot... I'll share a few definitions:

• Websters: evenness of mind especially under stress: nothing could disturb his equanimity
• Dictionary.com: mental or emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium, serenity, self-possession.
• Wikipedia*: a state of mental or emotional stability or composure arising from a deep awareness and acceptance of the present moment.

Samuel Johnson defined equanimity as "evenness of mind, neither elated nor depressed."  In Christian philosophy, equanimity is considered essential for carrying out the basic virtues of gentleness, contentment, temperance, and charity.

If you're thinking... huh? I'll give a couple of examples from our reading, which I loved and repeated many times this week.

   There are innumerable things we cannot change - the rude salesclerk, the traffic, the flu. Rather than fighting, it is so much simpler to just accept that we aren't in control of these things. Then we can turn our energy toward something more proactive, such as changing the things we can.
   It is so easy to get reactive when we feel like we aren't in control.  It happens every day, in a thousand small ways (and sometimes big ones).  We spill coffee on ourselves on the way to work, we react. We hit a traffic jam, we react. The boss takes out his or her mood on us, we react. Our kids act up, we react. Again and again we get caught up in the endless cycle of stress, reactivity, and blame.
   Equanimity is the art of meeting life as it meets you- calmy, without drama or fuss. This is the way out of frustration...
   An inner revolution is not about taking control. Control has no real healthy place in our lives, and only robs us of our serenity. We think we change things by taking charge, by "grabbing the bull by the horns." But if you think about it, grabbing a bull by the horns would be a crazy thing to do.  We change by finding equanimity and learning to relax right in the middle of conflict-filled moments. (Baron Baptiste, emphasis added)

Wow. Now THAT is a lesson. But I have LOVED it! I am a very reactive person. I find myself screaming at other drivers when they cut me off-- like they can hear me! If they could hear me, I never in a million years would scream at another person like that. So why, in my car, when the only one to hear it, the only one to feel that negative energy, is me? I react when Tyson** jumps on my desk when I'm studying-- I throw her off, yell at her, get so frustrated! I swear the man above me probably thinks I beat my children-- I'm surprised I haven't gotten a visit from CPS yet. But really, what did my getting furious, frustrated, annoyed do? Nothing. This week, as Tyson hurled her hefty self up onto my desk and started knocking things off and sitting on my laptop, I calmly picked her up, went to the couch, sat her in my lap, and spent about two or three minutes petting her. She purred, closed her eyes, drooled a little (yep, they drool), and let me put her down and get back to work. Having calm and meeting situations in the way they meet you can truly change the dynamic of every moment of the day.

Baron took that a step further-- imagine you're on a ship, and it's suddenly sinking. The vast majority of people would do what? Panic. But the person who can greet the situation with equanimity, who can see it as life, coming to them, and something they needed to meet with coolness and peace, that person can be calm enough to see the life boats, to help others aboard, to remember where she saw some life vests earlier. That person will save lives-- because of her deep awareness and acceptance of that present moment, others will not be harmed.

A few other places my equanimity grew this week...

...calmness in waiting. I HATE WAITING. In line at Walmart, for a friend who said they'd be ready, for a phone call to come back... This week, I noticed those times, that frustration; I observed it, gave it its due value; and then I let it go. I took a breath, cleared my mind, and waited, without anger, frustration, or anxiety.

...serenity in stress. I have a stressful life. I do. That is fine. But this is where the cycle Baron spoke of-- stress, reactivity, and blame-- happens most. I get assigned a cite check from law review when I just turned one in (stress); I get mad and freak out about how much work it will take and how my portion is dozens of pages longer than other students (reactivity); and I launch into conversations with other ILRA editors, with my sister, even with myself, doting on how unfair law review is and how busy  it makes me and how stupid the people writing these articles must be (blame). ...What good did all that do? None. It takes an event that shouldn't even be negative and turns it into a stressful, frustrating, unhappy situation, one where I spend four or five days being randomly mad for no reason. This week I focused on less griping, less stress, less blame. I wasn't perfect, but this was a great week, and I think this is why.

...awareness of the moment, especially with friends and loved ones. This ties in with the "Presence" week for me-- often, I am not even and aware of where I am. I am in the next moment, trying to figure out how to get somewhere on time, when to fit in my run for the day, blah blah blah. When that happens, when I'm losing myself in that stress and anxiety, I'm missing a story my friend is telling me, letting a professor's knowledge pass me by in class, giving up a chance to help someone out because I don't even notice they need it. Greeting life calmly means doing it now, not trying to anxiously head off what could be happening later.

A lot of this week for me has been stopping an old way of thinking: when I used to be in a situation I didn't like, I'd try to "turn it into" something positive. For example, if I were in traffic, I would think, ok, how can I "flip" this around? I know! I'll turn on great music and sing! Or I'll call a friend! That is not my mindset here. I am not changing a bad into a good-- I am trying not to classify it as "bad" in the first place. It just IS. This change has given me so, so much peace. If you are a worrier, it will for you, too.

I LOVE week three. I want to stay here forever! But, week four starts tomorrow. I think my small group will be happy-- they have all had big challenges this week that made their equanimity hard to hold onto. But it's a new week, new focus! :)

Yoga-wise, equanimity comes in when you hit a pose that, for whatever reason, challenges your calmness. It could be a balance pose that you have trouble staying in, a hip opener that causes some physical (and maybe emotional) discomfort, a stretch in a place that makes you want to give up for a minute. It is in these moments I am choosing equanimity-- that is, meet this pose as it came to me, with calmness and staying power, and, instead of bailing out, breathe deeply, stay calm, and let my body do what I know it can. The challenge to not just stay in a pose, but to relax in it, and to let it be, is a hard one-- but it totally changed my practice this week. Relax with what is. I may not be flexible, or have perfect balance, or be as strong as I want, but I can accept that, keep breathing, and smile on the inside with peace :)
A few poses I've relished this week, instead of fretting over...

Pigeon pose-- it's hard to tell, but her foot and knee are under her body, putting a big stretch in the hip. This can be physically uncomfortable, and actually elicit an emotional response. I've been told by many people that humans hold a lot of emotions in their hips; it may seem odd or a little too "yogi" to you, but maybe try a big hip opener and see for yourself! :) I finally relaxed, breathed, and met this pose with peace this week, and it was AHmazing.

Half Moon-- this is the balancing frustration I was talking about! I am rather annoyed by how easy it looks in this picture-- it's dang near impossible! My foot cramps, my lower outer leg cramps, my hands are slippery, sweat is getting in my eyes, and somehow I'm supposed to balance, stack my hips on top of one another.... and then look up? Well, I could wine about all that like I just did, and give up and rest, or I could just accept and do. Thanks to the help of a hands-on assistant this week, I loved this pose for the first time ever.

Lastly, a series-- this is extended side angle. For the first time in a long time, I took this pose....

...to this pose, which is a modification called a "bind," then, with a decision to just try it and see what would happen, I went...

...to this pose, bird of paradise. Wahoo! I never try these. Never. I tell that myself binds hurt my arms., that I can't extend my leg, that my lower leg already hurts too much to try. Instead of doing that - stress, react, blame - I just tried. ***Disclaimer below.

A great verse for this week for me was Philippians 4: 6-7:  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

More next week: sneak peak, it is Restoration week! Namaste :)


*I love Wikipedia. Love it. My goal in law school used to be to get published. Now, it is to get a paper published in which I cite to Wiki :)
**Tyson is not a child. I realized that paragraph looks realllllly bad. Here is Tyson: 

I used an old picture from when she was skinny. She's getting tired of me calling her fat.

***Disclaimer: Events represented by the picture were grossly misrepresented. Add a frustrated "trying to poop" face, about two gallons of sweat, a trembling bottom leg, a much-less-straight top leg, and you almost have the picture. I am not a pretty yogi. And I looked even less excited at the moment than that lady did! A closer representation:

Yes, I sweat this much. And I am this happy about it.
On a side note, if you're ever needing a laugh, google "drowned rat images."

****I know there weren't four *'s anywhere, so don't go try to find them. Sammie got jealous that Tyson got in a blog and not her. So here is a picture of Sammie.

Yes, she was in a crock pot. Yes, she put herself there. Often. Why? Who knows. 

And one more, from when she used to smush herself between the screen and window. A bright one, she is.

A cool present :)

So at first, my kitties were all like.....

..."Mo-om, she's in my space!"

..."Tell her to move her nose!"...

..."I was here first!"

...and then, I turned..., well, I had a birthday :) My mom gave me money to buy a storage ottoman-- i.e., where my thirteen books for this semester go to get some sleep-- and after a few days of online searching, I found this!  No time to go to the store and find one in person, but the online pick was perfect.

And now, my kitties are all like...

Tyson: "ahhhhhhh, yeah, thanks Titi, this ottoman is so comfy!"

And...

Sammie: "Ahhhh, yeah, thanks Titi... you got that other furry thing away from me!!"

So thanks for the bday gift Mom!  My living room is a little more sane, and I can relax a littler easier now! And I LOVE having all the little trays for food, drinks, books, highlighters...

My other bday gift was from my sweet sis, who gave me the cutest bathroom shelves (do you see the obsession with organization I have going on?)... I didn't post pics, because I have a great plan for decor for them, courtesy of Pinterest (lol), but I think I may have been scammed by the cite I ordered a couple of little black and white canvas pictures from :( Let that be a lesson to all in trying to save money-- should've just gone with snapfish again!  Ah well-- if scammers think they can get me and never hear about it again, they will definitely have another think coming! For now, I'm relaxing on the new ottoman :)

(AND, avoid canvasdiscount.com like the plague! Never ordered from there before, and definitely never will again!! Go to Snapfish! LOL)

40 Days, Week 2: Vitality!

Ok, so I know myself-- or, I know myself better, at least.  Now, time to live!  Week two is all about vitality-- truly living, right where you are.  Not waiting for a vacation to relax or to have fun.  Not having to go away to enjoy your life.  Not holding out on "being present" until the weekend.
Our yoga practice was WILD for the first day.  We were literally mat-to-mat, and the energy in the room was amazing.  Our instructor had us do fun, playful poses, including the types of jumps that lead to doing handstands-- something I really want to achieve someday!
In yoga, I have focused this week on listening to my body-- feeling to good stretch, or maybe the bad stretch. Feeling my strength, and holding poses longer than I initially want to.  Not asking what particular poses are supposed to do, or looking it up, but feeling what they do in my body-- where they stretch, what they strengthen, how they help my breath or take more effort to keep my breathing constant.
Vitality has been a fun week for me.  Food wise, I've added in more fruits-- something hard for me, b/c while i love vegetables, I am not a huge fruit fan.  I've seen a change in my energy, and an improvement in my overall mood-- from more or less happy, to more or less elated!  Something I have focused on in life and in meditation has been Panic versus Patience.  When something comes up that would normally bother you, you can panic - worry, get angry, run away, get hurt - or be patient - let it fully reveal itself, stay calm, and realize that, most likely, it is no big deal.  It has been a great lesson for me!  I'm sure I'll be adding on soon, as I learn more.  Namaste!
(Later...) Ok, so being "vital was not the easiest thing for me.  I'm not really sure why!  I think I'm still a bit lost on what it means.  Energized, excited, happy?  Dunno.  If those are good words, then I'd guess why the week was hard for me was this evil little monster called law school.  The little bastard asked me to check my energy, excitement, and happiness at the door the first day of orientation, and never gave it back!  But, just as I learned in my reading, being vital means being vital here and now, not somewhere else, later.  Just keep trying, I guess!

40 Days, Week 1: Presence

So, I have embarked on a new little journey in la vida de Sarah-- I'm starting a forty-day yoga immersion!  I won't bore you with all the details-- yet.  And don't worry, Mom, I'm not going to be rubbing down with patchouli every morning or stop shaving my underarms!  These forty days, which started yesterday, involve intense yoga practice, daily journaling, group discussion, and meditation.  Each week we have a focus, and this week's is "presence," the idea basically being that you cannot change or evolve when you don't even know who and where you are to begin with.
I definitely have issues with being present, and I feel lucky to be aware of it!  Law school caused slow drifts away from who I am that I have felt and mourned over the last couple of years.  The first to go were things I enjoyed, next were relationships with people who meant a lot to me but with whom I simply couldn't maintain communication.  After that went the things I didn't necessarily love, but did to be good to myself, like working out and being good to my body, and slowly I'm feeling the loss of more things-- personal opinions, selfless giving of time, direction.  The opportunity to give myself this gift and become "present" again is amazing.
I wonder today how many people have no clue how far from their true selves they really are.  Television, partying, subsequent hangovers, workaholic-ism-- they all take our time, our attention, our thought, and none of them define the true us, much less challenge us to be better and do better.  Even more sneaky are things like ambition and throwing oneself wholly into family life-- things that disguise themselves as "good" can still just be distractions from truly knowing, from dealing with, our true selves.
(Later...) A few things I've learned in my week of presence (Yes, I started this blog over a week ago. Oops)...

...I am a procrastinator.  But there is usually a reason why I procrastinate things, whether I admit it or not.  I don't procrastinate school work, or reading, or cleaning... I procrastinate paying bills, because I don't want to feel the sting.  I procrastinate calling friends I have lost touch with, because I feel like they'll be upset with me.  I procrastinate sending in résumés and applications, because I don't want to deal with another "Thanks, but..." letter.
I always have a do-to list running in my computer and phone.  I add to it, I delete from it.  And, honestly, there are times that the list could be empty!  But there are typically things on the list that have been there for weeks, months.  The funny part is, things like "detail the toilet" and "write an absurd letter explaining to the law review dudes why one of your papers was five minutes late" and "figure out the smell that's coming from your car" get done almost the second they're written down!  So, selective procrastination it is.

...Sometimes, I'm not honest with myself.  This was pretty obvious from the journal I am supposed to be keeping.  For example: Food.
The first day or so, I wrote down my food & drink intake item for item (cutting back a little from my normal diet... dang, i eat a lot...).
The next day, I wrote it down, cutting back more. (Dangit, I reallllly want a glass of wine! But I'd have to write it down!)
By day three, I ate what I wanted, drank what I wanted, and wrote it down angrily! ("Yes ma'am, I SURE DID have queso for dinner tonight!!" AND two glasses of wine! HA! "Be present" THAT!!")
By day four, I stopped journaling, more or less.  I'd write a few things down, but not everything.  And by seven... oops! I forgot.
Being forced to be completely honest with myself ended in my choosing not to think about my actions at all.  Interesting reaction, eh?

... I am always looking and waiting and being anxious for the next moment.  The five-minute, twice a day meditation showed me this, very clearly, the first day.  And then, I spotted it everywhere.  (Sidenote: our meditation does not mean chanting, trying to change your heart beat, or floating through the air.  Just a simple focus on breath, letting your mind clear... acknowledging sounds and feelings, then releasing them, rather than trying not to notice them in the first place... anyway.)  I enjoy meditation.  It goes smoothly for me.  But I realized that I think many times during it about something I need to do, but instead of acknowledging it and letting it go, I'd think Just a few more minutes, Sarah, and you can go deal with that. Or add it to a list. Just a few minutes and you can get back to work... I made huge headway on learning how to relax and be in the moment-- but only because I knew the next was coming.

(Later...) Wow. I'm now almost through with week two, and just now posting!  To be honest, the "Presence" week was so revealing and so intense, I felt like I could use two weeks of it.  But onward we go to week two!

But first, while "new moves" isn't the focus of my practice right now, they inevitably come with six-day-a-week classes! I can now do Malasana (yoga squat, the first picture) into crow pose, the second picture where you tilt forward onto your hands and support yourself; into tripod headstand, the third picture. I've done all these poses before, but never the transition between the three-- and now, once I'm in headstand, I can lower back down into crow, which is definitely new!

I've also gotten much better and calmer in eagle.  And, since being "present" means feeling the sweat on you, instead of wiping it off, and dealing with shifting clothes, instead of fixing them, and not stressing out about needing a drink right this second, I've gotten a lot better about avoiding the last picture! :)

Laundry, According to Sarah

I've come to realize, much to my amusement and probably to my mom's horror, that the little laundry tags on clothes don't necessarily mean what say, at least not to me. As we dive into this Christmas holiday, if you plan on buying clothes, and you enjoy the comfort of knowing your loved one is clean and fresh, you might consider what these tags could mean in the hands of the receiver...

"Hand Wash Only; Lay Flat to Dry": This will never be washed. Ever.

"Hand Wash Only; Line Dry": Eh, a little Febreeze, steam from the shower, it'll be fine!

"Wash With Like Colors": Wash everything you own together on cold.

"Wash on Gentle; Lay Flat to Dry": Wash on Gentle, throw into the dryer but nervously check its progress every few minutes.

"Tumble Dry Low": Huh? ....put it in the dryer. Push the button.

"Hand Wash Only; Reshape and Lay Flat to Dry": This will never be washed.

"Hand Wash Only; Reshape and Lay Flat to Dry" on a Victoria's Secret bra: You bet your bootie I'm following those instructions to the T! Those dang things cost $50!!

"Dry Clean Only": Just don't buy this. You'll be the stinky kid in the room.

The World, According to - Who Else? but - Facebook!

If you haven't visited this site yet, DO! It is hilarious. And, sadly, probably better education than a lot of history classes out there... just sayin'.

http://www.collegehumor.com/facebook-history

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Touched again tonight by the words of a man who is no longer here but left in his place a lifetime of inspiration, determination, courage, and wisdom... a lesson about working harder instead of being a victim, and dreaming instead of settling for less.  If you were confused about all the "hype" when Steve Jobs passed away-- or if you weren't, but still want to hear some powerful thoughts-- here is a video for you.  If you are like me, and not the "video type" but the "reading type," I highlighted a few thoughts below... enjoy.

If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.  Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.


You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.


The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.  Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. 

Productivity!!

I am the picture of productivity today.

I have been at the library for three hours, and I'm pleased to say....



....I finished my Christmas list. :)

A Devolution of Dress: Side Effects of a Semester of School

Law school uniform, first day of the new semester:
Fun, bright colored flowy shirt... check.
Comfy shorts that show off the care-free summer tan... check.
Happily-fixed hair and make-up, indicating one who is able to enjoy wasted time... check.
Beer in hand, rather than a redbull/ cup of coffee/ crackpipe to stay awake... check.
Legs that have obviously been enjoying more-than-average runs... check.
General air of happiness and fulfillment... check.

Law school uniform, halfway through the semester, just after a law review cite check: 
Clothing a little less feminine or fun... check.
Hair fixed, but makeup submitting to the joy of going to bed at night without having to wash my face (or feel guilty about not washing it)... check.
Smile, whether through genuine happiness, delirium, or habit... check.
Beginnings of "hermit-hood" manifesting itself in use of caps, hoods, or other comfy-disquisers of sleepiness... check.

Law school uniform, nearing finals...
No real attempt at matching (high school hoodie + Burberry scarf = totally fine)... check.
Flatirons/ blow dryers/ general styling tools need not apply, as hair has two styles: wet, and totally completely out of control... check
Best makeup permissible is that which somehow made it from Saturday night to Monday morning.
(And better grab a camera, quick, 'cause that's the best it'll get for awhile!)... check.
Having researched a serious investment in dry shampoo... check.
Forced smile, mostly because the major cheek muscles are sore from being indifferent... check.

Law school uniform, during extended library hours, less than one week before finals:
Sweatpants, size men's small... check.
Sweatshirt, size men's medium... check.
Beanie that is LITERALLY able to make a bum think I'm one of his own and try to strike up a conversation with me (Oh, and if you know how seriously I take the use of the word "literally," then you know how potentially hilarious the story behind that is.) ... check.
Complete lack of hygiene for the day excepting a toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant (Sorry, Mom. But just know we all look somewhat "grodie" at this point. And at least i don't smell.  Not today, anyway.) ... check.
On that note, application of the non-judicial "smell test" to make sure the shirt I want to wear (i.e., the softest shirt I can find) is acceptably clean... check. (Oh, and the ability to sneak in standards like "non-judicial" and to properly use phrases like "i.e."... check.)
General air of indifference... check.
Look of hunger fierce enough to make the partially-cropped doggy from pic # 1 a little nervous... check.
Expression so sleepy/ bitter/ makeup-less it could disturb the visually impaired... check.
So, basically, I look like a cross between Smeagol from The Lord of the Rings, a guy basketball player who's begging to get "pants'd," the pre-makeover "snowbeast" from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, a pro softball player in the off season, and an extra in Girl, Interrupted.

So. now that you know this general air of not-fun stuff, just go away, thanks. (Oops, sorry! Those were my exams talking. Please, stay!!!!) Just..... be warned.... it's bad.
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You should probably turn back. Or scroll back up, WHATEVER, cyber technicallist!
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..Be warned, it is BAD.....
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.and Mom, if you're scrolling down, don't be disappointed...
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and future husband, if you're out there reading, this is totally a "front" double.....
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I actually look like one of the briefcase girls on that show "Deal or No Deal".....
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So just ignore that girl down there...
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Well, not really, but you don't know any better.....
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K, here goes nothing.....
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Anybody want to loan me a piece of cardboard, magic marker, and ridiculously long beard?  I think I've seen some fellas on Stemmons & Inwood that could help me get started in this biz! :) Or just send x-smal softball gloves & X-large batting helmets to my address!

Never fear. A few weeks to go, and it is Christmas time! (You know, where I get the joy of eating food made out of love, lard, and liposuction-inducers!)
Oh, well. At least I meet the requirements to travel on 114 and fill up here. Too bad I still have to find my "dressy" pj's if I want to take a trip to Wal Mart!

Oh, the things you see in the South...

I love trips home.  I get to see so many things on my little drive from Dallas, Texas to Archer City...
Usually, these involve painfully-slow elderly; a variety of trucks, rigs, and colorful gestures from their drivers; and hundreds of barely-surviving, thirsty-looking trees.  Occasionally, I get to view some good ole Texas wildlife... a panicked deer, sprinting directly in front of my car instead of heading any one of a jillion other directions... a group of wild turkey, known to be so fierce they make dust out of windshields... a mini Texas tank, a.k.a. "armadillo," a species that is completely invisible in life, and only become plain to the human eye after being hit by a car.
But my favorite sights of all-time?  The ones us classy Southerners put out there for all to see, proving in all their redneck glory just how country we are.
For example, this little sign, still close to my hometown, but far enough away from uptown to have some personality:

Why yes, I WOULD love some finger-lickin' rotissaflame! How ever did you know? It IS totally natural, after all! 

Or perhaps the gas station where I stop for gas near 114.  Notice I say "stop for gas."  Not "stop for gas and a potty break."  Why?

Just so you know, this bad boy has been improving...  the sign used to point to just ONE some-what sideways port-a-potty...  Now, they have TWO.  Big leagues!

Don't get the wrong impression from the picture, though.  You ARE welcomed inside, if not for use of lavatories, so long as you fit certain standards-- "no shirt, no shoes" just wouldn't cut it for this upscale business...

The sorority girls standing in a group outside toting over-sized Louis Vuitton's & holding Mardi-Gras masks for that night's mixer looked particularly crestfallen!

Never fear, I was smart enough to leave my large gun-holding bag in the car, walk in completely alone, and let the surly former-linebacker clerk see my city-girl face-- how else could I get my redbull?

And the end of our trip today brings us to good ole' Bowie, Texas--- the Wal-Mart parking lot of Bowie, Texas, to be exact!

(Ok, how great was that intro?!? Anything in a Wal-Mart parking lot that prompts a driver-by to retrieve her camera and make a u-turn for the pic HAS to be good!)

I pulled in the parking lot in the right hand lane, and saw almost immediately that I was in a right-turn only lane, which truly distressed me, as Wal-Mart was to the left! Luckily, the kind souls in Bowie being what they are, the Oldsmobile behind me waived me into his lane, but not before I spotted this...

I can just hear the convo of the road-pavers now...
"Billy, I just cain't tell what to do! There's two dadgum roads on this here plan, but only one of them gets into the Wally Mart! Now what in tarnation are we supposed to do with the other?!"
"Well Jimbo, don't we have some of them extry "only turn yerself right" signs?"
"Well, yeah, sure, Billy, but what would they be a-turnin TO? They's gotsta be a-turnin' into SUMthin!"
*silence*
"I got it!! We got more of that don't-go-further-than-this-here-fence fencin', don't we? Looks to me like THAT'S sumthin!"

Their wives must truly be proud. 

Stay tuned-- holidays are bringing more trips home, and an added bonus-- WEATHER!  There is little funnier than seeing how rednecks react to the sight of snow-- except how they try to drive in it. 

Mmmmmmm.... DIP.

Ok, it's no secret that I like food. As a true member of my family, my FAVORITE foods are (1) foods that are cheese-based and (2) foods that allow grazing.
You know, grazing... as in:

Graze: [greyz] 

1. to feed on growing grass and pasturage, as do cattle,sheep, etc.

...Or, in my case:

2. to stand around a table at family events, even if there are ample seats and plates available, and slowly rotate around the table while stuffing one's face and wondering how to perform the infamous Double Dip without being chided. 

As a lover of all things food, I've been cooking like crazy lately! But what's weird is that I have never blogged about it. I'm not sure why-- laziness, maybe, or maybe fear that the blog about food, following a blog about my cats, will deem me a Bridget Jones before I'm even 30. 

All that said, I have found some good stuff. And it must be shared with the world. The first, of course... a dip! Jalapeño Popper Dip, to be exact!

I found this recipe online, at foodgawker.com. But, of course, it wasn't spicy enough. Or cheesy enough. Or crispy enough. My friend Leslie shares my same love for waist-band destroying dips, so we perfected the recipe!! Here goes nothing...

Jalapeño Popper Dip

Ingredients:

8 oz cream cheese, softened

~6 oz shredded cheddar... Ummm, or MORE.

~6 oz shredded parmesan.... Yeah, or more.

3/4 cup mayo

1 small can diced jalapeños... or 2...

2-6 jalapeño peppers, seeded and finely diced. Yes, I said 2-6. We've used up to 6 with no issues. In fact, although four is our regular number, if I start chopping the peppers and don't immediately cough, two more go in!! But I know some people don't share our love for self-torture, so for you guys, 2 should be plenty. And please, do yourself (and your eyes, if you have contacts... your nose, if you have a cold... your nethers, if, well, you ever have to pee... a favor and WEAR GLOVES.)

Panko bread crumbs-- and don't use the regular ones! These make the dip!

Tortilla chips

Salt & Pepper

Garlic Salt

Whatchya Do Now...

Oven at 350.

Medium, square or circular baking wear heavily sprayed with Pam

Now, mix both types of peppers, cream cheese, mayo, all the cheddar, and almost all the parm. Season with S&P and garlic salt to taste. Dump in your well-lubed dish (Baby Mama side note... "Is it ok if I just spray a little Pam down there right before the baby comes?).

Mix some panko crumbs with a little more garlic salt and a few teaspoons of parm-- not to much, or instead of a crispy, flaky delight, the top will become an impenetrable shield, breaking every chip that tries to enter it and leaving you with NO DIP!!

Put this mixture on top of the dip, shaking it around to make the topping even.

Bake at 350 for... well, we haven't quite figured this out. Somewhere between 20 and 30 minutes is good, but just so the top gets nice and brown!

Then... ENJOY!! If you're allergic to gluten like my friend Leslie, just grab some gluten free corn chips (Doritos are actually gluten free), and sub the panko crumbs out with crushed up rice chex! Actually, believe it or not, the chex might make a better topping-- the jury is still out on that one.

The WALL, Phase 2

Welp, I've done the improbable. I'm a 2L (i.e., second-year law student) who just hit The Wall.... AGAIN.

What is this "wall"?

Well, I could describe it in metaphor...
The Wall is an unyielding giant, holding up a sword... no, wait, something cooler... A dragon, holding up a light saber and screaming phrases only law students would find life-threatening...
"You'll never understand the statute of frauds!!"
"That firm didn't want you because you had spinach in your teeth during your lunch interview!"
"If you hadn't stepped out to pee that one time, you'd still know what was going on in Civil Procedure!!"
Yeah, dragons and light sabers are as far from cool as you can get.... I know. But I'm a dork. Cut me some slack. 

Or, I could describe it in simile...
The Wall is like a motivational speaker standing in front of a curtain... and you just feel the passion, and you have hopes, and are ready to work for dreams, and just when you start to think "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, I have the right tolerance for pretentious people and alcohol!"... just then, when you access your inner Sarah-ness, the speaker pulls back the curtain to reveal everyone you've ever seen in your "Oh Crap, I'm Pant-less in Public" dreams laughing hysterically, and worse, in slow motion.

Or, I could just describe it by just saying what it is... for me, at least.

My Wall
As a 1L, I hit the wall a few weeks into law school. I was working, and studying, and maintaining relationships with loved ones back home as best I could, and barely staying on top of things.
Sadly, I didn't realize the "barely" part.
See, law school involves a lot of different expectations.
... Some profs demand you read 50 pages every night just for their class, and know them all by heart the next day, all for that 0.5% that you're called on.
... Some spend weeks covering boring history, and lecturing, showing power points, calling on no one, and making you feel all secure and happy-- only to storm into class one day with a glimmer in their eye and a smirk in their smile and say, "Ms. Bridges? You remember the facts of the case you read for the first day, I'm sure?" ...Oh, yeahhh, that case I read a month ago...? about 27 nights of sleep back...? about two or three nervous breakdowns ago? (Side note: sadly, most profs only call me "Ms." once. After they see who they're calling on, it's "Mrs." from then on... How depressing. But I digress...)
... On some rare occasion, you have a professor who actually gives you a clue as to what you'll be expected to cover, and when! Your heart soars, you feel elated, you think, Great! I can know EVERYTHING about this case, now that I have head notice!... and then, you look at your pages, and you've been assigned a case in British courts, circa 1652, when they still spelled "colour" with a "u"; or was brought by the Securities Exchange Commission on the basis of a violation of Section #Something of Some-Act-No-One-Knows-About; or had to do with (gasp!) the statute of frauds.
And then.... when all that happens, at once, on the same day... and your best bud gets upset with you for not answering a call while you were in a mandatory, 20-reasons-you-aren't-good-enough-to-sit-for-the-bar lecture... and you guzzle a glass of milk at home, just to find it's two weeks old because you no longer have time for the grocery store... and you realize you've had the wrong book for one of your classes all along, and WORSE, you thought you understood that class just fine... it hits. THE WALL.

My first year, I thought I had a handle on things the first few weeks. I definitely studied way more than I did in undergrad-- since I never studied in undergrad. I went to classes way more than I did in undergrad-- since I only occasionally went to class in undergrad. And, after leaving my amazing family, selling my home, and quitting a job better than anyone should hope for, I definitely cared way more than in undergrad (no joke here). And then, a few weeks in...
... Crap, I have 250 pages to read tonight??
... I have three hours of ICW's to do tonight?? (I cannot even remember what that stands for; they were supposed to teach us how to do legal citations on a try-and-fail-and-try-and-fail-and try basis... Whatever their real name, they should be renamed "HTDAOCDPNF"-- "How to Drive Already-OCD People Nuts Faster.") (fn1)
...And I'm supposed to be up at 4:45 am to teach spin??
Well, all would've been fine, until...

MY POWER WENT OUT.

In a new town.
Where I didn't know people.
When I was about to be an AOCD person driven NF.
Where it was 105 degrees outside.
And the only damn flashlight I could find, per usual, was my cell phone. This was My Wall.

Luckily, my trusty flashlight was charged, so, before using it, I called my sis-- who understood me. I cried, freaked out, cried, freaked out, and got snot on my flashlight.
Then, I used my snotty flashlight to gather up my books in my darkened house, and proceeded to the nearest chain restaurant I knew, since I'd had no exploration time to find good wi-fi places.
And wouldn't you know, it was On the Border!
And wouldn't you know, I'd already had dinner!
And wouldn't you know, I'd grabbed the wrong book, and had nothing to do there but to drink a marg and wait for power at my house...
...darn the luck!

Ok, anyway.

Moving On
I thought that was it. The Wall sucked, and I was lucky to hit it early, luckier to have a sis who'd been in professional school, and I even saw many friends hit the same Wall. In fact, some of my girl pals hit The Wall a tad later than me, and I felt like it was meant to be that I could identify with them and encourage them the way my sister had me (HA! as though I was sooooo much wiser... I should've just given out J's business cards!).

Even then, little did I know....

I hadn't really hit The Wall. I'd jumped The Hurdle.

I thought that was a wall?
Now, I'm standing at THE Wall. No.... actually, I've hit it, and since I'm hard headed, and stubborn, and a little too determined, my head is still slammed against it, pushing as hard as it can, with all it's giant-headed might (insert Calvin and Hobbes image...?). And THIS, my friends, is a Wall.

This wall's bricks?

The first inch... All. The. Dang. Reading.
Whoever said the workload gets lighter the second year either (1) lied or (2) spent the second year in a comfy job after having quit law school! And whoever said, well, it doesn't get easier, but you're so adapted to it, it seems like a breeze!!... well, bite me. A 140 mph wind isn't a "breeze," it's Katrina... Go get a job with that You're good enough, you're smart enough guy.
My assignments are huge, and I have a whole new challenge: people who are taking classes only because they are crazy about the subject matter... can you say Gunner-ville? (look two more inches deep.)

The second inch... Law Review.
Oh, yeahhhhh... Law review is great on your resume, Law review can help you be published, All the best firms want law review students.... Ahhhhhh! What about the truth: law review is HARD. And it takes a lot of TIME that you don't have. And you have to teach yourSELF how to do it. And, oh, don't forget... It's INTERNATIONAL law review... Um, I barely know U.S. law, thanks, much less the laws of foreign nations!! My research topics are supposed to be about groundbreaking cases and changing laws of other countries-- how do you know groundbreaking changes when you don't know what the heck the law was to begin with?? ... and I can hear the over-positive people now: Come on, Sarah, it's a bit of work, but it will all be worth it!! Just find a foreign law you're interested in and see what's going on! ...Oh, yeah?? Easy to say-- ever tried to learn the old laws on hydraulic fracturing of gas wells in France when all their laws are written in (shocker alert!) FRENCH?? Hahaha how about I throw a middle eastern county in there?

The third inch...  The Gunners.
Will they never go away?? It's like some awful horror movie monster... they always walk slower than you.... and talk slower than you.... even their arm, trying to grab you, is reaching out at the speed of the US postal service... but somehow, they NEVER GO AWAY!! You can't run, you can't hide-- they're there!! They will never leave. They will never be absent. And they will never, ever stop asking totally asinine questions. (fn2)

The fourth inch... The Interviews.
Oh God, the interviews.
And the callbacks.
And the disappointments.
The phone calls saying you got a callback-- or the letter, saying you didn't-- or, worse, the checking, and checking, and checking for that letter saying you didn't-- only to hear they already hired someone, months ago, and just didn't bother telling you.
The sprint to the mailbox, to see what's in, then the full-minute mental debate, trying to figure out if whatever's in there is better left unread.
The tiny "ding!" every iPhone user knows, alerting you to a new email, the hope it's that sweet recruiting girl you met a few days ago, then reading that it's just a (67th) reminder to get your flu shot.
Or, the worst. A call, missed during class, from an unknown number... BUT it's from an area code matching the firm you just interviewed with, and had your heart set on.... AND the first 3 digits seem so memorable, they could only be that firm... PLUS you know no one gives rejection phone calls.... Which leads to an awkward shuffle to the bathroom to check that golden voicemail, even tho your professor doesn't like bathroom breaks... A frantic self-dial... Only to hear nothing on the other end!!... So, then... A quick trip back in the classroom... then to whitepages.com, and, a few seconds later... A realization that the call was your internet provider, offering some new damn service you don't even care about because you're now heartbroken.

The fifth inch... well, I have a fifth. Sixth. Seventh. More. But sadly, the fifth is sleep, which somehow becomes the 2L's worst enemy after hitting The Wall, Phase 1.
And, as I have an entire 3-day cite check to do in 24 hours; and still need to catch up on reading after missing four classes from just one harrowing callback; and have to teach an inner-city, 60% ESL elementary class of 32 fifth graders about the law in a few days for part of my pro bono hours; and need to figure out why on earth you would have to pay income tax on damages from being sexually harassed but not from being bonked in the head; and finish that scholarship app, since law school don't pay those bills; and prep for my next interview, since that call wasn't from who I thought it was; and start working on those outlines, since finals are just around the corner..........


SMACK!!!!


Ouch. Yeah. Hi, Wall. Good to see ya. I'm sure you remember me. Only last time, I bumped into you by mistake. This time, I know you're here. I'm not coming at you with a snot-covered cell phone flashlight... I have a dozen interviews, three suits, and a respectable set of grades under my belt....
...what's that? That doesn't scare you? Well, Wall, consider yourself Jericho, because I also have an understanding family and great set of friends behind me, a perfected knowledge of business cocktail spots, an accepted law review casenote topic, AND a prof who doesn't like gunners!! (see fn 2) How about THAT?

All in all, I'd say the wall's a'crumblin' down...
...Hopefully there's no more dumb enough to stand in the way third year!


(fn1) ICW = Interactive Workbook Citations. Loosely translated, a mandatory book 1L's must spend $36 on, only to realize at the end of the year they never used because all the exercises were conducted online. EX: "Hey, Sarah, what's this book under your coffee table?" "Oh, that? That's just my unused ICW-- I use it to balance my table because no one will buy it back."
(fn2) (Oh, by the way, this is how i have to read cases. There may be 200 of these "fn's" in one little bitty case. And, to make maters worse, I only put this second footnote [i.e., "fn"] in to give props to the one professor we have who consistently shuts down gunners...) To the prof who, on the first day of class, renewed my spirit by responding to a would-be gunner's question as follows: 
Gunner (holding SMU coffee mug & leaning back far too casually in his completely-non-reclining chair): How should we expect relations with the U.S. to change now that [insert country we hadn't discussed in class] has [insert some random legal action that we hadn't gotten NEAR to discussing in class] and that resulted in [insert some incorrectly-used legal term that we would NEVER get near discussing in class if YOU DON'T LET THE PROF GET PAST INTRODUCING HIS DANG SYLLABUS!!!!!!]?
Then, after a ten second silence, and only after that pristine moment of awkward realization for the gunner and hopeful victory for the other 99 students in the room, our professor responded in his Jersey accent, resounding like a chorus of angels: Now you tell me, what the hell does that have to do with formation of partnerships?! (pronounced: now, you tell me, whut da hell does dat 'ave to do wit foh-ma-shun of potnaships?)
... yes, to you, Oh shutter-down-of-gunners, I have devoted a footnote. I'd love for you to feel special, as you totally made my day... but honestly, no on reads these. Sorry.